How to Attract a Mate

7 Jul

Everywhere I go people ask me about my one major accomplishment: attracting a mate. And not just any mate, but an attractive mate who smells nice. I have dwelt long and hard on this subject, because most days I really don’t know how this happened. Was it my rapier wit? Charm? Immense wealth? Mad Bowstaff skills?
No.
No.
None of these are the answer.
Now I am pretty sure that you are hoping that I will immediately begin to plug my new product “Katie’s Super Fantasgreat Mate Attracting Serum” (A delightful blend of snake oil, phermones, and garam masala, available everywhere that fine products are sold, for 5 easy payments of $19.95), but I have actually come up with a better and FREE solution:
When your hair is dirty, wash it.

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